Grinched

It’s been a looong time since my last post.

And it’s only because I didn’t want to or feel like doing it. Not that I had crap like I’m too busy or something. I always have time for everything, including joining friends if I want to, that I say “I’m too busy” only when I really don’t want to. Something tells me I’m id-driven after all. But I don’t refuse favors from residents or from anyone when it comes to research consultation – I’m not sure if it’s an implicit code of ethics or something.

Despite that revelation, I would still say that working freelance for residents and professors kept me stuck from coming to important events in this season’s festivities. I wasn’t able to attend the CPH Xmas party, the EAMC Ob-Gyne Department party and the high school mini-reunion party. IPHM is history and until now we had no plans for reunion at all. Failing to meet old friends is just frustrating and somewhat gratifying at the same time. Besides, I’ve been trying to avoid social gatherings as part of my soulsearching saga. And honestly, I’m not afraid to become anti-social in the process of seeking what I really want for myself – special thanks to Ayn Rand.

I’m currently enjoying my family’s company in between rest days of my freelance career. At the least I met my former PH classmates for lunch and had a great time. I was also able to spend more time jamming with my old high school friend in his place. The only Christmas party I attended was with a band of musicians, my classmates and music major students together forming a chamber orchestra playing new pieces and Christmas carols the whole day. I hardly knew everyone else, but it was the best.

Now that is another entry.

I haven’t even bought gifts for anyone. Napaka-Grinchy ko pala. Well, I bought my parents a laptop (yes Jeng, I bought Mensup for only P2500 hehehe) and also bought myself a Yamaha keyboard from a dear PH classmate, that’s all. I haven’t even bought any new “necessity” for me despite the urgent need to do so. Zippers on my bag and my pants fail to zip, and I hate it when things don’t zip anymore. But gifts for me has to pass for now. I’m too ashamed to those who are so thoughtful to give me presents. I assure you someday you shall be rewarded. By moi. *Hugs*

Going to church? Don’t even ask about it.

I know this coming year will be spacious for me. Hopefully I’ll have more time for myself as a bum mocking myself to finish my thesis and graduate from my masters course. But I have this gut feel that I should not finish my course yet. Because if I do, I’d have to leave the country to work for nagging bosses in the international community, as I’ve always wanted. I want more time for myself, more than what I have now.

And I’m not even expecting myself to write posts more often.

Anyway, let’s just enjoy this season while it lasts.