The Best Turn of Events in One Day

I assumed that this year, the Year of the Rat, would be a very speedy year for all of us. In my case, it really is.






On May 23, The Santa Isabel College Chamber Orchestra held its first formal concert. The preparations for this event were quite hectic, including my daily attendance in the chamber's rehearsals, not to mention my pro bono designing of the poster and programme, which by the way was highly praised by everyone (sorry to brag ^^). Although there were bloopers along the way, I can say that the concert was a success for we were able to earn from donations more than what we had spent. As Sister Emilita said, what's important was that we perform beautifully, in which, I can say, we did.

This is the peak of the chamber's success. The chamber has contributed so much in promoting the school, just by counting the number of new Music students who enrolled this year, myself included. The chamber has also been increasing in number and has been improving in a span of a year. As for me, I have learned a lot about the workings of an orchestra and music itself. This has been a very fruitful event despite the obstacles we've been facing.

Some of my friends - officemates, past consultants such as Dr. Erlyn Sana and Dr. Mitch Majini - were in the concert. Although only a few seats were filled in the BDO hall, the applauses were quite loud. However, my family wasn't there.

They were anticipating the birth of my first nephew, Joachim. He was born two hours after our concert finished.

After the concert, I went to Manila Doctor's Hospital to see how the baby and his mom were doing. They were both great, and he is wonderful.

It turns out that after a week of hard work and perseverance, I have earned a very remarkable reward, not only in my musical career but also in my family.

In the programme, I wrote "[We] would like to thank the Almighty for the Gift of Music and Friendship."

I would now like to include the Gift of Life.

Do you know how to advertise your own concert?

This is one way of doing it.

See you there!

Missed Half of a Lifetime

Last Saturday, the chamber had a concert in Laguna at 8 pm, but the call time was 8 am. Unfortunately, I had a class on Theory in Sta. Isabel at 7:30 am and supposedly on Historical Survey at 10 am so I said to Sir Cris I couldn't come. Just when I was in the middle of my Theory class around 8:30 am, Ms. April sent a text message saying we wouldn't have a class on Historical Survey. The chamber's bus going to Laguna left at that time.

I felt so left out. It was more than 12 hours of bonding with the chamber, but I missed it. The whole day was spent on regret and remorse that I wasn't able to join them. I also regret that I didn't make any effort to catch them up on their way to Laguna. Sayang talaga.

These are the moments that I am so driven by my emotions, that I do not want to do anything because I am down. And sometimes, I fantasize about what could have been my life now had I taken not Public Health but Music. My income would not be that stable, but at least I love what I do.

I remember the days when I was making career choices before going to college, and Music has never been one of them. I only rekindled my passion to music when I saw a violin in my professor's office, and this was in my postgraduate study. I had made a decision to spend some of my time to learning how to play the violin, and now to spend more time to learn music itself.

In the office, frequent taking of leave became an issue, and I was affected since I took several leaves a few weeks back due to chamber activities, aside from the fact that I was trying to have a retreat from the office chaos and politics. There was a time that I was furious about suspending our raise because of "frequent absences and tradinesses" of many among our batch, to the point of giving an impression that I was too harsh on unleashing lose comments. For that, I had to watch over my absences and be punctual everyday. This includes not attending chamber rehearsals on a weekday.

I am glad that Mr. Macazo was not strict on me on attending rehearsals, for he knows that some of us are part-time music students who have a full time job. But I can not allow myself to be just a saling pusa to any of the chamber's activities. Somehow I want to excel in the group and promote myself from an amateur student to at least an average violinist.

I have lost my social life in the process of struggling to balance my work and my enthusiasm to music. Somewhere in the long run, I may come up with a decision to completely give up one for the other. And I am afraid that giving up my work is a more palatable decision.

People in the world face more overwhelming problems. In this country, basic needs is more important to an individual or to a family. I feel somewhat more fortunate that my problem only encompasses what career to take. Somehow I envy people who, in the midst of their problems, are determined and focused to strive and become succesful in their chosen careers. I, for one, can not excel in one profession if I am not focused to it.

I realized that my batchmates in college who took up medicine are now MDs. I, on the other hand, am working like a dog in an organization where the seniors think that I am not performing well. I haven't even finished my masters degree. If I choose to become a full-time musician, I would start from scratch.

Now I realize what retreats are and why we did them in our high school days. I need one now.

I somehow wanted to turn back time when I was a student, at least there I had summer vacations.

No pressure to work for difficult bosses.

No monetary worries.

With big dreams.

Imagine how I react when I miss one chamber performance.

It's Just One of Those Days...

... that I couldn't sleep.

I am so burnt out with my work, I want to quit.

No... I want to retire.