Clouds in My Coffee

Yep. Just clouds. Had my 6th stick. Caused me chest pain. Made tears in my eye. I don’t know. Maybe the unmet deadlines. Or the anxiety for tomorrow’s session. Or the future loss of my beloved cat. Currently embracing him. Will be gone tomorrow. To miss you. Wanna make a sonnet for Nge-Nge, but too groggy for that. The violin perhaps. Maybe the sad songs. Or the loss. I love you. Goodbye.

Kids easily grow up. I just saw my cousin’s note in my room. It mentioned that they were leaving our house, requesting me to copy a CD game for her and hoping I would join them in our weekend tri p in Lucban. Unfortunately, I had a project to finish in my professor’s house that weekend so I wasn’t able to keep my promise to join them. Somehow I regretted that I took the project and could not commit to my family duties, specifically as “Kuyang” to my cousins. I wanted to join them and have the best hours together while they (Sophia and Roxanne) are still kids. They will be back in Geneva after a couple of days. Somehow I realize that they are not kids anymore. A few years back, they were only writing scribbles on pieces of paper, forming letters as toddlers. But now, they can communicate very well, not only in Filipino and in English but in French too (voila!). After a few years, Roxanne will be in college and Sophia will graduate hopefully as an environmental biologist. I, on the other...

I'm currently in a dilemma whether I should "retire" as a researcher to become an artist. I'm currently working as a research associate in a TB project, and I admit I suck at doing my work. As of now, I neither have the capacity nor the attitude to organize research materials. Hay... iresponsableng bata. If not for my gorgeous looks and acts of humility, I would have been exterminated ages ago. But no, despite my disorganized character, my Boss Mira had to extend my contract and even create a new one for their other project. Rather, if not for my masters units, I would have not retained my income-generating activities. True enough, being a statistician and an epidemiologist has its gains. I believe I have become too exhausted in my research and statistical work. Aside from my full-time work, I had to meet a lot of clients for consultancy in their research. I had met several UST doctors who are willing to meet me, an amateur researcher. Although I gain much experience ...