Career Calamity Ver #$%@?


I'm currently in a dilemma whether I should "retire" as a researcher to become an artist.

I'm currently working as a research associate in a TB project, and I admit I suck at doing my work. As of now, I neither have the capacity nor the attitude to organize research materials. Hay... iresponsableng bata. If not for my gorgeous looks and acts of humility, I would have been exterminated ages ago. But no, despite my disorganized character, my Boss Mira had to extend my contract and even create a new one for their other project. Rather, if not for my masters units, I would have not retained my income-generating activities. True enough, being a statistician and an epidemiologist has its gains.

I believe I have become too exhausted in my research and statistical work. Aside from my full-time work, I had to meet a lot of clients for consultancy in their research. I had met several UST doctors who are willing to meet me, an amateur researcher. Although I gain much experience in handling my "clients," i can't say as of now that this is not my calling. Perhaps it's because my time and efforts are divided by my soul searching. Kasi naman, pa-enroll-enroll pa sa violin, ayan tuloy...

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, kinarir ko po ang byulin.

I have been attending violin sessions with my charming teacher since early this year. Sometimes, he keeps on reiterating that I have poor practice habits, that I have to practice some more. "Sayang ang panahon at tuition mo," he always says. Hay. Since I am enrolled and committed to attend and practice for my please-don't-ask-how-much sessions, I can not afford to stay focused on my real work. And since my work is not yet over, I also can't afford to focus on my violin endeavors. Arrgh. Hiwa-hiwang diwa.

And it doesn't end there. Making me believe that I have the potential of becoming a full-fledged violinist, my teacher encouraged me to attend the orchestra extension classes (in which he is still the teacher). Ayan, dagdag effort. But I had no regrets on this one. I have now the opportunity to have a feel of being in a symphony orchestra, which I thought would only be in my imagination. Honestly, being with a group of musicians feels greeeeaaaaat. Even is the composition of the chamber orchestra are merely beginner violin pupils, it feels like I'm in a big set filled with assorted instruments. Feels like heaven ba.

Well, plus the fact I have met new friends with a common interest, which is rubbing our own instruments harhar.

I remember the first time my boss asked how i was doing in my work, I simply answered, "Mam, mag-viviolin na lang po ako." Harhar.

Or maybe I'm willing to give up research work for music. I don't know. As of now, I'm torn.

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