Clouds in My Coffee

Burara kasi ako . It simply means my cage is too messy that cleaning it on my own would take at least 2 days to finish, no matter how small it is , with less than 3-single-bed floor capacity. My window is facing the polluted street of Sto. Tomas, so I could plant any rootcrop in my room after months of stagnation. And as I age, my trash multiplies and ages with me. What I hate the most is my unreasonably dragging attention to my trash. Over the years, it has been my room-cleaning tradition to browse through my old and new trash for a very long time and judge whether to keep or discard them. This time, my trash included handouts from my college and masters classes, not to mention my college books and high school materials that I kept over the years, if not decades (They're trash in a sense that they're unorganized bulks of paper scattered all over my room). I remember every detail of what the materials remind me of - from Public Health subjects to our fieldwork report (that kick...

...was a bit crazy yet absolutely gratifying. It was in our office Christmas party that I applied my skills in choral arranging for the first time. I arranged Don Moen's "Our Father" chorus part into four voices, upon my suggestion and my officemates' request. Here is the original music from Youtube. Listen to the chorus: Now here is my choral arrangement (with the help of Finale). This one has voice "oohs" to have a cool effect. Check this out: I think this one, with choir "aahs", has clearer chords, so you can listen to the chord progressions: Unfortunately, we weren't able to record the actual performance. Aside from that, I had participated in the toxic activities of the school and the chamber. I joined the Santa Isabel College students sang and played for the simbang gabi at the PGH Chapel last Saturday. It was a bit weird for me as an alumnus of the campus, but the feeling was not that intense, since the colleges and the hospital are ...

ANG GANDAAAAA!!!!

No, you've read it right. It was my second first day last Saturday. Most classes officially started that day, so I'd say it was my first day too - second first day, that's correct. And on my second first day, I have learned a lot as a "professor." Lesson 1: Classes are unpredictable at first week, and the consequences never cease to surprise me. After attending my dictation and theory classes (that switched schedules by the way), I was approached by a masters student, Sister Belen, who asked for the schedule of my Statistics class for masters. I was stunned by the idea, and upon approaching Ate Jean (Music Dept. Secretary) without saying anything, she told me right away, " Ay Charvs, may klase ka ng Stat sa masters, 11-12 ." I didn't know I will handle masters students. And the students keep on coming. Last week was also a blow, finding out that my undergraduate class is a mixture of students with different courses, which is beyond my expectations. ...

I was overwhelmed by this first experience. It was simply unbelieveable. Last Saturday, I started to teach Statistics on college students in Santa Isabel. I thought at first that I was going to handle music students only, but it turned out that there are college students with majors in English or Marketing. But in general, I know how my students behave, as most of them are music students, my classmates. And when it comes to general education subjects like Statistics, let's just say they are not the most enthusiastic students you'll ever have. And setting my class at 1-4 o'clock in the afternoon, let's just say it is not the most exciting class you'll ever attend. Everyone whom I encountered in the music department almost teased me, "Sir!" aggravating my anxiety. People knew I was terribly nervous. I was advised that I should start my class next week, but with 11 students, I started anyway. I didn't have any teaching materials nor course outline, but I ...

I am an epidemiologist. For those who do not know, an epidemiologist studies disease frequencies and their associations. I am also a statistician to some doctors. A statistician in research provides results from raw data. In effect, I am also a research consultant, who gives advice to researchers. But the great bulk of my work deals with processing data. You know, generating tables, interpreting them - the likes. I forge data into meaningful information like a blacksmith forging useful tools from an ore. In the lifestyle I am in now, I feed on, breathe and live for data. When I wake up, the first thing I think of is what data will I process and to which doctor will I give them. My eight-hour job dictates that I process and verify our office data. When I go to sleep, I sigh thinking of what pending data I had left for the next day to process. To give you a picture, I was once entertaining about five doctors with different data sets in one day while in PhilCAT office with its own data t...

It has been our (my SICCO friends' and my) habit to pay homage to Luneta right in front of Santa Isabel College on Saturday nights. Even though our fingers and toes are shaking because of the school's toxicity, we find comfort at the toes of Mayor Lim (Did I mention Mayor Lim? I meant Lapu-Lapu, who looks like Mayor Lim.). Here he is. He would look more mysterious in the dark. Luneta is best experienced at night, with all the lights and the cool breeze from the bay. What's also good about "Our Haven" is that Lord Lapu-Lapu doesn't mind some vices like smoking in his presence, so you get the picture. But what I love about our pilgrimage is being with my Isabelan friends. It's good to release body tensions with schoolmates, no matter how weird we individually are. We would bring out our violins and play, chat about rumors in and out of the school (sometimes our secrets), and sometimes taking chances on maggots in taho from vendors in the dark. We had a fri...

I've been thinking a lot lately about my short-term plans for my career. Well, I'm planning to resign next year. I'm only looking forward to the Christmas bonus that waiting my resignation will be that long. Why will I resign? My primary objective is to finish my masters thesis in Epidemiology - to finish what I have started in the past. To do that, I'd have to resign from my current job and work on it full-time. I've talked to my uncle about my initial thesis proposal, and he rejected it and proposed a study on virgin coconut oil on multiple-drug resistant (MDR) TB patients. I am not quite confident about the proposal; it is rather unconventional for an epidemiology student to have an experimental study for a thesis. But once I prepared a good methodology and got a good data on this, it would be a major breakthrough in alternative medicine, but not really in epidemiology. (Halt! Among my few readers, nobody cares. So let's move on.) My other and more important ...

I broke Carlo's violin "Ram" (it stands for "Hiram;" I borrowed Carlo's violin; Carlo is the SICCO concertmaster) and lost 3 of my 4 P1.5k worth of strings all in two days: last Sunday and Monday. The disaster occurred after our mass performance in Sts. Peter and John Parish in Malabon. I left Ram in its case, open, on the church's floor, only to move a few steps to light a candle and make a wish to the Virgin Mary, then when I turned back, a heavy wooden music stand was on Ram, with the G string cut, and one f-hole cracked. As what I was told, a tall microphone stand was accidentally bumped, then it stumbled onto the heavy wooden (I have to stress this) music stand, which in turn crashed over the helpless violin, just when I was praying a few steps away. Carlo was upset, of course, and made loud guilt-tripping jokes on me before leaving the church. He was quite effective... I got quite furious. I tried to repair the violin. A few adjustments and the woo...

At the start of our chamber rehearsal a while ago, I was very anxious for three reasons: 1) The concertmaster and the principal members were out with other engagements, leaving only a few "leftovers" - us; 2) I became the violin 2 principal violinist; and 3) We were to practice a Tchaikovsky serenade - for the first time. I thought that the chamber would become a slaughterhouse. Well, some of us were "lashed," but as far as violin 2 is concerned, we were spared. Did I do a good job? I didn't know until we had dinner outside as Sir Cris commended my drastic improvement. " Hindi sya makapaniwalang makakatugtog sya ng gano'n ," Sir Cris added, and lightly told how we quarreled during my last violin lessons with him (more than a year from now ) and how he suggested that I look for another teacher. " Ang galing mo, Charvie! " I also heard from Peter, a member from violin 1 who took a moment to observe us violin 2 during the rehearsal (he was...

The following are the excerpts of the Santa Isabel College Chamber Orchestra's first formal Concert on May 23, 2008 entitled, "A Journey to Baroque Music." Solomon, HWV 67, Act III: Sinfonia, "Arrival of the Queen of Sheba " ... G. F. Handel, Arr. Hindson Violin Concerto in A minor, Op. 3, No. 6, RV 356 ... A. Vivaldi III. Presto ... Jericho Tabirao, violinist Overture (Suite) No. 3 in D major, BWV 1068: II. Air, "Air on the G String" ... J.S. Bach Recibid: Hymn to Sto. Cristo del Tesoro ... Santa Isabel College Source: Youtube, Jericho Tabirao's brother's uploaded video clips

Here is a video clip of our small performance with the Vox Angelicum Choir in the Our Lady of Hope Parish, located behing SM North EDSA. I am the violinist in the right who was covered with a music stand. You may not see me very well, but somehow you can see me move . The piece was entitled "I Am." The Vox Angelicum Choir is under Ms. April Sta. Maria, my music teacher in Santa Isabel College. We, some members of the chamber, were invited to play for them during their fiesta to make their singing fuller. This was on May 17 this year. Ang saya ano ? Hehe.

I assumed that this year, the Year of the Rat, would be a very speedy year for all of us. In my case, it really is. On May 23, The Santa Isabel College Chamber Orchestra held its first formal concert. The preparations for this event were quite hectic, including my daily attendance in the chamber's rehearsals, not to mention my pro bono designing of the poster and programme, which by the way was highly praised by everyone (sorry to brag ^^). Although there were bloopers along the way, I can say that the concert was a success for we were able to earn from donations more than what we had spent. As Sister Emilita said, what's important was that we perform beautifully, in which, I can say, we did. This is the peak of the chamber's success. The chamber has contributed so much in promoting the school, just by counting the number of new Music students who enrolled this year, myself included. The chamber has also been increasing in number and has been improving in a span of a year. ...

This is one way of doing it. See you there!

Last Saturday, the chamber had a concert in Laguna at 8 pm, but the call time was 8 am. Unfortunately, I had a class on Theory in Sta. Isabel at 7:30 am and supposedly on Historical Survey at 10 am so I said to Sir Cris I couldn't come. Just when I was in the middle of my Theory class around 8:30 am, Ms. April sent a text message saying we wouldn't have a class on Historical Survey. The chamber's bus going to Laguna left at that time. I felt so left out. It was more than 12 hours of bonding with the chamber, but I missed it. The whole day was spent on regret and remorse that I wasn't able to join them. I also regret that I didn't make any effort to catch them up on their way to Laguna. Sayang talaga. These are the moments that I am so driven by my emotions, that I do not want to do anything because I am down. And sometimes, I fantasize about what could have been my life now had I taken not Public Health but Music. My income would not be that stable, but at least I l...

... that I couldn't sleep. I am so burnt out with my work, I want to quit. No... I want to retire.

Last week has been very intellectually overwhelming for me. Imagine yourself in front of two time portals: one transports you to the conventional past while the other leads you to the far-reaching future. If you were a scholar, where will you first go to discover things unknown to you? I am currently enrolled in two subjects of almost the same contents but of different perspectives: Music Theory on Thursdays where my teacher is Sister Emelita, a traditional type of educator, and Historical Survey on Satudays under Ms. April Sta. Maria, a liberal one. To give you an example, both of them asked us to define music. To Sister Em (as how we call her), music is an organization of sounds of silences that is pleasing to the ears and delivers a message . On the other hand, Ms. April modified this definition by stating that music , as I recall, is a combination of sounds and silences that appeals to the senses OR the intellect . There might only be a slight difference, but the point is, the libe...

Last week, I had a conversation with Sister Emelita, Chair of Sta. Isabel College Music Department, while I was processing my enrollment form in Sta. Isabel. I told her that I'm taking up masters in epidemiology in UPM, with thesis as my only requirement for completion, and that I will take up master subjects in music in Sta. Isabel this summer. She asked me if I'm now giving up public health for love of music. "...I am torn between two lovers," I replied. Perhaps I'm too pissed off with my public health career now that I'm considering music as my sanctuary. In the office, I was given a task to conduct a research with someone else's proposal, someone whom I don't want to work with. There was a slight impression that beside the fact that I'm underpaid for my work, I am being used of my skills by undeserving people. But I think this is a bit overboard, that I need to think this over and improve my framework on this to a more positive one. But I want ...

I have been contemplating on things right now. Some of the clear realizations I have come up with are the following: A lot of people look for issues and wonder why they have issues. People become too dependent to a lot of people when they can not depend on themselves. Politics is inevitably everywhere: at school, in the office, even in research and music. So deal with politics effectively. Most people have a wide blind area (johari window) and many people around them do not give a damn. Friendship is highly dependent on the quality time spent with each other and the contribution to each other's values and character. But this is not always the case. You have to do some things you don't want to do, for the sake of duty and reputation. Likewise, You have to avoid things you want to do for the same reason. A mentor is someone who effortlessly reminds you of your ambitions and purpose. In my case, I have two: my thesis adviser and my violin teacher. The real challenge in work is not...

It's my birthday. I went to San Pablo, Laguna with Cocoy and my boss Sir Leydo to visit a PPMD unit. I bought buko pies for my officemates ang my family, to feel somehow that today is a special day. People greeted me, through text message or in my face, to remind me that. But I do not feel special today. I do not know exactly when I stopped celebrating my birthday. I only think, or have set my mind eversince, that I don't do it. I'll probably surf the net and waste the night just like any ordinary day. I'll probably pick up my violin and play a hardly sweet tune. But thank you to those who remember. I'm glad that people around me celebrate birthdays as they celebrate mine today. Perhaps birthdays are for social, not personal, purposes.

There was a time during my second year high school days that we were tasked to write a formal theme entitled "Coffeepot," where we think of a noun as a topic, write a paper about it, then substitute "coffeepot" each time we use that noun. Let's try it now. It's been hours since I should have been sleeping. It's been days since I should have done all my work, in the office and out. But until now, I'm still awake, unfinished with the tasks passed to me. And all I can think of is this coffeepot. This coffeepot is very special to me and to everyone else. It was nice-looking and fun to be with. We became good friends and spent great times together. I shared its sentiments over matters and even comforted it when needed. I did not actually measure the parameters of our friendship, but as far as I know, I became an outstanding friend to the coffeepot, to the point that I swore never to leave it no matter what. This coffeepot had been the source of my happine...